The Animal Instinct

It's been one of those days... no, it's been one of those weeks... wait, it's been one of those months!
Stressed beyond most limits of stress, due to work, change, finances, weather, family, future, career, what everyone will think of me...

It's been one of those months.

I was on my way to teach meditation, cranky due to being dehydrated the day before due to subtle food poisoning, not to mention a tough day at work, when I realized do I really want to teach meditation being cranky deep down inside? I realized the yoga class before that might settle my mood. I needed it. Then again driving home in the snow storm which was supposed to hit around 8 pm, (when I would leave meditation class), came into mind and annoyed me further. As I was driving, ignoring the traffic, going with the flow, singing the songs, a song's lyrics specifically caught my attention.

It was The Animal Instinct"  by The Cranberries.

The lyrics went something like this: Suddenly something has happened to me, as I was having my cup of tea.
Suddenly i was feeling depressed, I was utterly and totally stressed.
Do you know you make me cry?
Do you know you make me die?
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.
It is a lovely thing that we have, it is a lovely thing that we,
It is a lovely thing, the animal, the animal instinct.

So take my hands and come to me, we will change reality.
So take my hands and we will pray, they won't take you away.
They will never make me cry, no,
They will never make me die.
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.

The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me,
It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me...

This song woke me up from this frustrated anger, annoyance and crankiness I was holding onto.
This is why we meditate, to rid ourselves of these basal instincts, our primordial instincts... that of an animal. So although this animal instinct in me, is a survival instinct, does it serve me now?
Our fright, flight and fight responses are useful, but did I need to be stressed and let it out right now?

I thought about it all, how I let myself get stressed by not being present. How I let myself be irritable and angry because of lack of sleep... I let it all get to me. I can manage this, but I wasn't being present, I was irate due to lack of sleep, but I missing my energy now, because I was upset about the night before.
The song helped me let out some steam, and get into a meditative state. It was great to enter yoga more positive. I was going to narrate this during meditation class, but sadly students got scared of the snow storm.

OM

Breathe

Meditate Like Christ - Krishna Das

I am so grateful to get emails on weekly meditations from Daily Good. I received this short story today from Awakin, which is a meditation project from Service Space. Hope you find the peace, joy and love I did through reading this short piece by Krishna Das. Now I am ever more enthused to read the book by Krishna Das which was gifted to me recently.



Meditate Like Christ - Krishna Das

One day a Canadian man arrived for his first visit with Neem Karoli Baba (Maharaj-ji). He  didn't know much about Maharaj-ji but had heard about him. Maharaj-ji didn't give lectures or formal teachings; didn't write books; and, as far as I know, didn't formally initiate people. He just kept shining like the sun. Flowers don't need to read a manual on how to bloom in the sunshine. So when Maharaj-ji asked this man why he'd come and what he wanted, he was unsure how to respond. Finally, he replied, 'Can you teach me how to meditate?'

"Maharaj-ji's response was: 'Meditate like Christ. Go. Sit in the back of the temple with the other Westerners.'

"The guy came to the back, and we asked him about his darshan. He told us that Maharaj-ji had said to meditate like Christ. At first we were surprised. 'What! Meditate like Christ! What does that mean?' But then we thought about it. We were always trying to get Maharaj-ji to tell us what practice to do, but he'd never give us any specific instructions about yoga or meditation. Now he'd said this. If he said it, he must know how Jesus meditated. We decided to ask him about it. We were so excited — we were going to get the secret teachings at last!

"Later in the day, when Maharaj-ji came to the back of the temple to hang out with us, [one among us] broached the subject that had us all buzzing. 'You said to meditate like Christ. How DID he meditate?'

"It seemed as if Maharaj-ji was about to answer, but instead his eyes closed and he sat there completely still, completely silent. It felt like he'd totally disappeared. In all the time I'd been with him, I'd only seen him sitting motionless like this a couple of times before. It was extraordinarily powerful, as if the whole universe had become silent. Then a tear came down his cheek. We were in awe. After a couple of minutes, his eyes half opened and, with great emotion, he quietly said, 'He lost himself in love, that's how he meditated. He was one with all beings. He loved everyone, even the people who crucified him. He never died. He is the atman [soul]. He lives in the hearts of all. He lost himself in love.'

Once again, Maharaj-ji had gone right to the heart of it all. I was stunned. There was nothing I wanted more than to be able to lose myself in love, but there was nothing that seemed farther away.  As Kabir once said, "It is easy to bear the heat of fire and likewise it is possible to tread the edge of the sword. But to sustain an unchanging love is a most difficult business."

--Krishna Das, in Chants of Lifetime

Sukha

Birthday Meditation

On my birthday in March, my friend hosted a huge 30th birthday party for me. Like 50+ people showed up, and it was combined with St. Patty's day celebrations! However I wished to hold a meditation session before the festivities.

A few of us showed up early, and after helping decorate the place, we went up to the attic, where it was quite, and there was a little corner perfect for meditation. Cushions, a little chair, and a little window with a green view. If this spot was made for meditation or just a hang out, I'm not sure, but it was perfect. I sat in the corner and asked my 5 friends to close their eyes, find a comfortable position and to observe their breathe. Some of them were beginners and others had meditated before, but I set an intention of peace, and calmness, joy and love for the rest of the night. This is what I wanted to carry with me for the rest of the year.

We only meditated for about 10 minutes, give or take a few, but it was special for me, and I really felt the love, and appreciated them being there for me. We all hugged after I awkwardly ended it. I did not want to do too much talking as it takes away from the focus of observing the breathe. My sister did help me prepare a meditation for the birthday, but it was too distracting reading off my phone, especially for others.

I want to get better at setting a timer on my phone, and then using my "singing bowl" (Tibetan Singing Bowl) to gently bring people back to now. I want to try to help people go further with their meditation practice than just observing breathing, eventually.

I'm excited that this Tuesday, weather permitting, I teach my first Sunrise Meditation and Yoga class in a park! Nervous, but excited, and I will try my best. I will hopefully remember to take my singing bowl!


Namaste!

Picture Courtesy Conscious Culture

Stressful day? ... Meditate!

I was having a super stressful week, forget the day... and today was the epitome of it all. I wanted to scream, cry, or punch someone (sometimes this is when those video games come in handy). I have been reading the Mahabharata (Devdutt Patniak's version, if you are curious), and I remembered Krishna's words "anger multiplies, but calmness divides.

Instead of feeding my rage, letting it all get the better of me, I took a few minutes and closed my eyes and breathed. I meditated focusing on positivity which people were sending me. That's what friends are for. I then had the strength to focus and feel the positivity within me; even in the darkest times it is there, only you can let it diminish, or shine. I let the positivity fill me up like a glowing light from within, and showering on me from without.

I focused on breathing, and light, and suddenly I felt lighter. I decided to avoid the negativity at work, and focus on myself, and goodness. I can deal with the negative once I have recharged over the weekend, however this positivity would tide me over IF I were to have a confrontation. I know the evening held treasures of relaxation, rest, rejuvenation  and rejoicing, so I was ready to take on the rest of the day.


Namaste!

Meditation and Filling the Cup

Every now and then I feel drained: work, friends, family, commuting, altruistic work, hobbies, and sometimes we forget to take time out for ourselves. I felt that recently, I let myself get stressed, I noticed the lack of quality time with me, and I crashed. A mini breakdown. I as afraid I wouldn't be able to live up to my busy schedule and I would let people down.

What I really needed to do, was focus on being present, and let things fall into place. Let go of control, and just focus on my breathing. That simple act for 5 minutes even can help so much. My mind wanders, but I bring it back, to the breathing. So I finally had time to do that on Friday during my yoga class (I hadn't been able to do Yoga during the week, or meditation), except it was longer than just 5 minutes. So it really helped me align my mind, body and soul. Suddenly ten minutes was not enough! I needed more time to enjoy this feeling of calming down. This meditation, basic as it is, was filling up the shell of my body with positivity, nurturing my soul,  calming my body, and taking pressures off my mind.

The exhaustion, and emptiness I was feeling, was gone! I introspected, and then gently looked at the world around me, and suddenly it dawned on me, that I had missed connecting with me. The thing is things will never be less crazy, or slow down to resume whatever schedule I would like, so I have to make time, and fit my meditation in, I do this for me. Same with the Yoga, I have to just make minimum 10 minutes for it. Sometimes taking out time for yourself may seem selfish, but we need it, and more often than not.

OM

Meditation for wellness