The Animal Instinct

It's been one of those days... no, it's been one of those weeks... wait, it's been one of those months!
Stressed beyond most limits of stress, due to work, change, finances, weather, family, future, career, what everyone will think of me...

It's been one of those months.

I was on my way to teach meditation, cranky due to being dehydrated the day before due to subtle food poisoning, not to mention a tough day at work, when I realized do I really want to teach meditation being cranky deep down inside? I realized the yoga class before that might settle my mood. I needed it. Then again driving home in the snow storm which was supposed to hit around 8 pm, (when I would leave meditation class), came into mind and annoyed me further. As I was driving, ignoring the traffic, going with the flow, singing the songs, a song's lyrics specifically caught my attention.

It was The Animal Instinct"  by The Cranberries.

The lyrics went something like this: Suddenly something has happened to me, as I was having my cup of tea.
Suddenly i was feeling depressed, I was utterly and totally stressed.
Do you know you make me cry?
Do you know you make me die?
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.
It is a lovely thing that we have, it is a lovely thing that we,
It is a lovely thing, the animal, the animal instinct.

So take my hands and come to me, we will change reality.
So take my hands and we will pray, they won't take you away.
They will never make me cry, no,
They will never make me die.
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.

The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me,
It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me...

This song woke me up from this frustrated anger, annoyance and crankiness I was holding onto.
This is why we meditate, to rid ourselves of these basal instincts, our primordial instincts... that of an animal. So although this animal instinct in me, is a survival instinct, does it serve me now?
Our fright, flight and fight responses are useful, but did I need to be stressed and let it out right now?

I thought about it all, how I let myself get stressed by not being present. How I let myself be irritable and angry because of lack of sleep... I let it all get to me. I can manage this, but I wasn't being present, I was irate due to lack of sleep, but I missing my energy now, because I was upset about the night before.
The song helped me let out some steam, and get into a meditative state. It was great to enter yoga more positive. I was going to narrate this during meditation class, but sadly students got scared of the snow storm.

OM

Breathe

5 Finger Meditation Technique

Just as I promised to share my various meditation methods, here it is! One of them which i always like to start with is the 5 finger meditation method. Which has a very dear story to it.

I was going through a really painful break up, and I needed to get away. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't function... so I hopped on a bus to Chicago to see my bestie, who I hadn't seen in a while. I kept myself occupied by watching a movie on the bus, and eventually dozed-off in an awkward position. I got there and it was friday night. We washed up, and went to bed. The next day was full of activities and occasionally I would have a break down. That night we visited her pool, which also had a sauna, and I had a major break down, weeping so much that I couldn't breathe or talk. So she held my hands and told me to close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sauna, and breathe with her.

She held out her hand and used her fingers to count to three. That was the deep inhale. The exhale was longer, and she used five fingers to count the exhale. We did this for 5- 6 minutes and it really helped me calm down.

She later told me this was a method she would use to calm down/ and relax her patients! It works wonders, and I use it to calm myself down, and also help me focus on my breathing. After which meditation comes in easily.

I am so grateful for having her as my friend, and am so glad and impressed she uses meditation and other breathing techniques to calm her patients down. Which goes to prove that yoga, pranayama and meditation are practices that heal! I hope you find this technique as helpful and soothing as I have found it to be.


OM!

Picture from The Legend of Korra (A "Avatar: The Last Airbender" adventure). Korra has to learn to meditate to tap into her Avatar energies!

Finding the True Self

As the meditations have progressed, I grow. it has been 2 months since I started this. I have experimented, developed and nurtured, healed, searched, found, met with peace, met with aggression, felt such deep passion...
I haven't blogged here in a while, but it doesn't mean this project failed. For my part I carried on. I didn't ever stop meditating, in fact I actually have been able to focus on things I really want, and achieve them, by letting go.Meditation is just not a thing we do. It is a discipline, an exercise, a pathway to deeper spirituality, a medication, a journey and experience that never ends.

There are so many different kinds of meditation, and I am still exploring it all. I have meditated with prayers, and visualizations. It takes practice to achieve and feel the full affects. One does not merely sit and hope for the magic to happen, it takes effort. Recently a friend sent me a meditation for healing, where I had to imagine my Chakras cleanse. This was true visualization of nature and it was very difficult, but soothing. I tried, but it was difficult, so I let go so that I could try another time.

I also started meditation in different yoga poses (savasana, sirshasana, padmasana) and this has proven beneficial for my body as well as mind. For I focus, hold the pose, feel my body, and I am so in touch with the energy flow in my body. The result being I feel refreshed and have way too much energy for the day.

All the different types of meditation set aside, I feel like in the exploration of my mind, soul, and body, I have slowly come to find and love my true self. Slowly. It is a work in progress, and the maintenance of it will be as tough as any other work. In doing so I have found a peace, and have been able to let go and love more openly. It's like a sigh of relief.


Namaste.

5 to 10 in 4 days!

Today is day four, I did ten minutes. It still wasn't easy but I did it.

Day one was Thursday (31st May). I started with 5 minutes; sitting upright to the best of my spinal cord's ability, breathing deeply (yoga breathing - aka abdominal breathing, inhale belly out, exhale contract the belly. Using the stomach/ab muscles we breathe). I focused on breathing, my thoughts wandered a bit and I brought them back to deep breathing. It was my lunch break, but I wasn't that hungry yet so I was able to focus. In the past I've had trouble focusing on an empty stomach. My watch was timing the meditation, and went off at 5 minutes, which seemed way too short, but felt great! However I had to stick to my tight work schedule.

Day two, Friday 1st June - I set my meditation time for 8 minutes, because I thought 5 was too short but wonderful. I started out with focusing on my breathing, and then I watched as my thoughts began to flow away from the breathing, then I would steer it back to the breathing. After a while of doing this, i thought it would be good to set an intention for the rest of the day, and what I wanted to send out to the universe, and what I would like to receive back. A lovely energy exchange essentially. 8 minutes was great, and refreshing, once again on my lunch break.

Day three, Saturday 2nd June - I set my clock to 10 minutes. It went serenely as I first focused on breathing and then listened, let thoughts flow, and memories of many childhood meditations fill me. Being a Saturday I added another 8 minutes after the 10. How is that meditation that I thought so difficult in the past was so easy now? The second 8 minutes was difficult cause although I was focusing on my breathing I was also distracted, and annoyed by my own tummy. I kept wanting to suck it in. My self image issues began emerging. I don't like my tummy. So I am meditating and the whole time grumbling in my mind via thoughts about how my tummy should not move with the breathing, this hindered my breathing, and thus my focus on breathing, and thought flow. I however decided to "let it go", and did. I began thinking about how I needed to pay rent and became anxious, then again I "let it go". Also these past three days, I would be meditating and feel an itch and be compelled to itch it, instead of using my head - "there's an itchy feeling. hmm. let it go." A thought does not always need to be followed by an action. Does it?

Day four, Sunday 3rd June - I paid my rent! Now I could meditate in peace. I just went running, did some yoga, and let my body reach homeostasis before sitting down to meditate. I sat outside on the balcony, and began meditating, always cross-legged (Indian style), back upright and my arms loosely stretched out over my legs and fingers in "chinmaya mudra". Today I was more annoyed with my tummy than ever, and my back was much fatigued (probably from running, situps and cobra pose). I toughed out ten minutes and ended the meditation with a startling sneeze from someone. Today it was hard to focus, but I made it a point to remind myself to get annoyed, watch the thought and let it go in the end. Resulting in me feeling over all calmer and patient.

Let's see what tomorrow holds!


OM!

Image taken from Gurumaa website, I believe that's the Chinmaya mudra.

The 5 Minute Meditation Project

A few days ago I had just finished the first meditation session I had done in a long time and was ready to start the day. Naturally that meant checking my email and seeing to my social networking addictions. My friend Pree was online, and after a bit of catching up I excitedly informed her,

Me: I meditated and exercised today! drinking tons of water too!!


Pree: i need to do all of the above.


Me: yeah. I really want to stay on the meditation thing.
I only did like 15 min and it made a big difference.
Ive had really bad anxiety the last few days. I can still feel it there but its much more controlled now.


Pree: hmm. i dont meditate at all.
like if i do its less than 5 minutes.


Me: 5 min is sufficient
and like any other discipline youll naturally do more and more over time if you just do it everyday.


I recalled the times that a week or so of daily meditation sessions helped me pull out of a slump or some existential crisis. I told Pree of one in particular time when I was so lost and in despair and meditation was pretty much the only positive thing I was doing for myself. After only a few weeks of meditating my outlook was changing, my posture improved, and I even dug up some long lost childhood memories.

Pree: wow
i need to!


Me: wanna make it a committment?
lets both meditate at least 5 minutes a day for the next 365 days


Pree: OK!
deal!
hmm we should make a blog about it


And thus began the 5 minute meditation project. For whatever reason, despite the consistently positive outcomes of meditation I never keep up the habit for more than a couple of weeks at a time. But if the past is any indicator the cumulative effect of a full year of regularly centering myself, and clearing the murky waters of my mind could very well be life changing.

As everyone accumulates inner junk throughout life, everyone can benefit from looking deep inside and recognizing and sorting out the mess. Is 5 minutes each day too much to give for even a chance of overcoming past hurts and self-defeating patterns? Of course not! So if you're reading this right now I hope you'll seriously consider joining in on this little experiment. This blog is mine and Pree's way of tracking and sharing the impact regular meditation has on our lives. If you choose to join in we would love to hear from you and to be able to share your experiences and insights with everyone. Or, you can spend that 5 minutes each day compulsively looking at the same old uninspiring nonsense online. Your call.

Happy Meditating everyone!