The Fountain Pen: Art of Writing

My friend Tanjot asked about fountain pens the other day. I hadn't written with mine in a long time. I remember doing a lot of research before buying mine. I missed the fancy Pelikan (German) pen my father had gotten me when i was in 5th grade, and had just begun cursive or as we called it "joint-handwriting". The letters were all joined, thus the name, we never knew of cursive until moving here.

Tanjot posted a picture of his handwriting with his new-old pen. It was old because it was his grandfathers, how romantic is that! Most people use micro-tip, or ball point pens, so it was awesome to see another fountain pen fanatic, of course the story behind his pen is amazing.

My current fountain pen has no amazing story. The amazing pens I did have are all long gone, ie. the Parker pen which my dad let me have, after he had it since he was at Case, the Pelikan pen, and many others. By 12th grade I had over 10 amazing fountain pens. Anyway, enough mourning  over the loss of my material obsession, now I have one Sheaffer fountain pen. It writes smooth. Anyway I had filled it up a few days ago for no apparent reason, and today I began to write with it, so I could post it on Facebook, like Tanjot had, and realized it was tough. 

It had been a year since I had last written with it. My handwriting was all over the place. I really had to focus. I was having a hard time flowing with the ink, I was hesitating before my 'L's. I wanted to get this post done, so I focused and ended up writing three pages of  a quote from Buddha. That's when it struck me.

This is art. This is meditation. Why was writing so tough? Why was I hesitating on certain words? It was amazing to introspect, and such a similar process to meditation. I found out things about myself, and worked through it until my 'L's were smoother. I learned to "let go" in a way, and go with the flow.

There is a value in arts and culture. It is what we fight for. Art and culture is what we cultivate within when we have peace, freedom and time. Which is all the time, and a state of mind. I know there's a push to get cursive writing out of school, but it's such a skill, a learning in patience, introspection, control, and going with the flow (being present). Why would we take away this amazing experience from our children, just because lost our sight of creativity, art, and began valuing/ focusing on other things?

As much as we like the big hullabaloo of a big success, wealth and riches, we always realize that the joys are in family, friends and the little things in life. We get sucked in, and sometimes we're sucked into a tornado of life, that we forget the things that matter. Stop and smell the roses, write with a fountain pen, take some time to meditate, go for a walk in the park, life's too short to miss these things.


Breathe 

The Animal Instinct

It's been one of those days... no, it's been one of those weeks... wait, it's been one of those months!
Stressed beyond most limits of stress, due to work, change, finances, weather, family, future, career, what everyone will think of me...

It's been one of those months.

I was on my way to teach meditation, cranky due to being dehydrated the day before due to subtle food poisoning, not to mention a tough day at work, when I realized do I really want to teach meditation being cranky deep down inside? I realized the yoga class before that might settle my mood. I needed it. Then again driving home in the snow storm which was supposed to hit around 8 pm, (when I would leave meditation class), came into mind and annoyed me further. As I was driving, ignoring the traffic, going with the flow, singing the songs, a song's lyrics specifically caught my attention.

It was The Animal Instinct"  by The Cranberries.

The lyrics went something like this: Suddenly something has happened to me, as I was having my cup of tea.
Suddenly i was feeling depressed, I was utterly and totally stressed.
Do you know you make me cry?
Do you know you make me die?
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.
It is a lovely thing that we have, it is a lovely thing that we,
It is a lovely thing, the animal, the animal instinct.

So take my hands and come to me, we will change reality.
So take my hands and we will pray, they won't take you away.
They will never make me cry, no,
They will never make me die.
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.

The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me,
It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me...

This song woke me up from this frustrated anger, annoyance and crankiness I was holding onto.
This is why we meditate, to rid ourselves of these basal instincts, our primordial instincts... that of an animal. So although this animal instinct in me, is a survival instinct, does it serve me now?
Our fright, flight and fight responses are useful, but did I need to be stressed and let it out right now?

I thought about it all, how I let myself get stressed by not being present. How I let myself be irritable and angry because of lack of sleep... I let it all get to me. I can manage this, but I wasn't being present, I was irate due to lack of sleep, but I missing my energy now, because I was upset about the night before.
The song helped me let out some steam, and get into a meditative state. It was great to enter yoga more positive. I was going to narrate this during meditation class, but sadly students got scared of the snow storm.

OM

Breathe

Meditation Classes

I've been teaching a meditation class now for about four or five months. It's been interesting; sometimes I like it, sometimes it's challenging, sometimes it's very emotional, and sometimes no one shows up and I feel hurt. I need to meditate on not taking things so personally. I usually meditate alone on the days when no one shows up, and it's an epiphany.

I've experiments these few months with different meditation techniques, because, honestly there is no perfect way to meditate. I've been meditating sine i was young, and my meditation abilities have evolved to say the least. It's funny how people think meditation is only about emptying the mind. In someways that's ridiculous cause it's impossible. The reason a lot of practices such as Buddhist and Hindu meditation do say "empty" the mind at all, is because the goal is to eventually reach Samadhi. Samadhi is a mental state which very few people have experienced. I'm glad my Yoga Teacher Training, here in the Midwest, has helped me understand these concepts in depth. Although I know I must delve deeper into Pratyahara, Dharana and Dhyana... too ultimately aim for Samadhi.

Even after having studied yoga, meditation and mindfulness for so many years (almost 24 years), I'd say I still have so much learning to do. I find it funny when people tell me, "Oh I know how to meditate, I meditate on my own", implying they do not need to attend a meditation class. However they know yoga, but deem it necessary to go to a yoga class? I do understand why this happens though, and people just need to be honest with themselves. There's nothing more liberating than the power of Satya.

So you rather pay for a yoga class, where you feel you are getting more out of it than pay for sitting quietly because it's something you can do on your own?

So you have time for yoga, but sitting quietly for one hour is too much?

So you think you've achieved Samadhi? Think again, or maybe come share your methods with us, no?

So meditation might infringe on your religious beliefs? Well, you might have a very misconstrued understanding of yoga and meditation then.

So you think because your life is in order, you do not need to meditate? There is always higher work to do mentally, although everything may be happy and perfect in life. Do that true work, of meditating.

I can't force anyone to meditate, I can't make them come to my class, but I can help guide those who show up. I can share prana with those who show up. There is something to be said about meditating in a sangha/ community/ together. Also we learn so much from each other's practices, insights, why not expand your practice than keep it to yourself, although a solo practice is great too.

Either way, keep meditating, keep showing up, and keep sending out the positive vibes.

Breathe!

Meditate Like Christ - Krishna Das

I am so grateful to get emails on weekly meditations from Daily Good. I received this short story today from Awakin, which is a meditation project from Service Space. Hope you find the peace, joy and love I did through reading this short piece by Krishna Das. Now I am ever more enthused to read the book by Krishna Das which was gifted to me recently.



Meditate Like Christ - Krishna Das

One day a Canadian man arrived for his first visit with Neem Karoli Baba (Maharaj-ji). He  didn't know much about Maharaj-ji but had heard about him. Maharaj-ji didn't give lectures or formal teachings; didn't write books; and, as far as I know, didn't formally initiate people. He just kept shining like the sun. Flowers don't need to read a manual on how to bloom in the sunshine. So when Maharaj-ji asked this man why he'd come and what he wanted, he was unsure how to respond. Finally, he replied, 'Can you teach me how to meditate?'

"Maharaj-ji's response was: 'Meditate like Christ. Go. Sit in the back of the temple with the other Westerners.'

"The guy came to the back, and we asked him about his darshan. He told us that Maharaj-ji had said to meditate like Christ. At first we were surprised. 'What! Meditate like Christ! What does that mean?' But then we thought about it. We were always trying to get Maharaj-ji to tell us what practice to do, but he'd never give us any specific instructions about yoga or meditation. Now he'd said this. If he said it, he must know how Jesus meditated. We decided to ask him about it. We were so excited — we were going to get the secret teachings at last!

"Later in the day, when Maharaj-ji came to the back of the temple to hang out with us, [one among us] broached the subject that had us all buzzing. 'You said to meditate like Christ. How DID he meditate?'

"It seemed as if Maharaj-ji was about to answer, but instead his eyes closed and he sat there completely still, completely silent. It felt like he'd totally disappeared. In all the time I'd been with him, I'd only seen him sitting motionless like this a couple of times before. It was extraordinarily powerful, as if the whole universe had become silent. Then a tear came down his cheek. We were in awe. After a couple of minutes, his eyes half opened and, with great emotion, he quietly said, 'He lost himself in love, that's how he meditated. He was one with all beings. He loved everyone, even the people who crucified him. He never died. He is the atman [soul]. He lives in the hearts of all. He lost himself in love.'

Once again, Maharaj-ji had gone right to the heart of it all. I was stunned. There was nothing I wanted more than to be able to lose myself in love, but there was nothing that seemed farther away.  As Kabir once said, "It is easy to bear the heat of fire and likewise it is possible to tread the edge of the sword. But to sustain an unchanging love is a most difficult business."

--Krishna Das, in Chants of Lifetime

Sukha

Meditation and Change

Most people are so amped-up about the world's goings on, and are full of opinions, arguments or debates as they like to call it, and so on. We are struggling with the changing world around us... although nothing has truly changed. Material aspects, lifestyles, food, and the "culture" which is a mummer's farce is what has changed, and a lot of us don't like that. We are resistant to change!

This affects our health. So I learned how to breathe through it, the things I don't like, the changes I can not control, meditate upon it, let it go, and I am able to deal with it.

Next time you are faced with a "who moved my cheese" scenario, and are unable to deal with it; you feel stuck; you are upset... Think about what in this "change", this situation you have no control over, upsets you, angers you, excites you. Meditate on the query, till you find the answer, and let it go. Find the peace in this process. Understanding yourself better in the process, and helping you with future "changes". Move on to the NEW cheese. I dare you to read the book ;-)  (it's a good book). However DO meditate upon it, let it go, and breathe freely and deeply.

Love
Pree

5 Finger Meditation Technique

Just as I promised to share my various meditation methods, here it is! One of them which i always like to start with is the 5 finger meditation method. Which has a very dear story to it.

I was going through a really painful break up, and I needed to get away. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't function... so I hopped on a bus to Chicago to see my bestie, who I hadn't seen in a while. I kept myself occupied by watching a movie on the bus, and eventually dozed-off in an awkward position. I got there and it was friday night. We washed up, and went to bed. The next day was full of activities and occasionally I would have a break down. That night we visited her pool, which also had a sauna, and I had a major break down, weeping so much that I couldn't breathe or talk. So she held my hands and told me to close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sauna, and breathe with her.

She held out her hand and used her fingers to count to three. That was the deep inhale. The exhale was longer, and she used five fingers to count the exhale. We did this for 5- 6 minutes and it really helped me calm down.

She later told me this was a method she would use to calm down/ and relax her patients! It works wonders, and I use it to calm myself down, and also help me focus on my breathing. After which meditation comes in easily.

I am so grateful for having her as my friend, and am so glad and impressed she uses meditation and other breathing techniques to calm her patients down. Which goes to prove that yoga, pranayama and meditation are practices that heal! I hope you find this technique as helpful and soothing as I have found it to be.


OM!

Picture from The Legend of Korra (A "Avatar: The Last Airbender" adventure). Korra has to learn to meditate to tap into her Avatar energies!

Meditating to Strenghten Bonds

Experiences in meditation vary, as well as levels of meditation. Today my sis was meditating on her way to work, and she came upon a revelation. Something she had to share with me. She texted me about it. It said:

"We perceive a very distorted view of ourselves. It's like looking into a cracked glass with many cracked pieces. When we accept that everyone we look up to, envy, love, wish we could be like, etc., are those tiny pieces of cracked mirror reflecting something that exists already in YOU, the Mirror will join the larger whole to un-crack and flatten to show the real you, which is all encompassing, infinite and ultra dynamic"

I asked her what made her send it to me when I needed it the most, without actually having talked to me about what I was going through, and where she found it.

She replied:

"I was meditating on the train and suddenly that entire visual and understanding came in…and I found so much peace. and then suddenly I had the urge to text it to you so I did.

love you"

 

Meditation gives way and room to help us realize things our brain usually can not  realize due to the monkey business already going on in there. Through meditation we can learn things that we can also teach others. Most of all I realized that meditation can strengthen a bond, despite distance. She is wise behind her years, but her timing impeccable... is it coincidence? or the power of meditating?

Om

My First Official Meditation Class!

Yoga Guru: Are you free to teach the Mindfulness Meditation class tomorrow evening at 7:15pm at the studio?

I needed to pause and think about this for a bit.

A few years ago I had attended a speech/ lecture by Sri Sri Ravishankar, where he led us in a 20-30 minute meditation. I achieved a very deep level of meditation, and in someways lost touch with my body. In example my mind couldn't move my finger when I tried to will it, but let the will go as well. It was pretty amazing, and my first time going that deep. My point for this story was I felt the pressure to incite this deep of a meditation onto my new students. How would I do that?

There have been times when I have lead meditations before, but they were usually small groups, my friends, or one on one. I was nervous leading the meditation on my birthday, but I did not have too many huge expectations for it, since I had meditated with my friends on different occasions. This just seemed more formal, and official in someways.

After talking to myself a bit, and sharing my dilemma with a few close friends/ my sister, I was encouraged to 1- believe in my self  2- realize that I am not expected to lead them into that deep a meditation 3- make it my own. So I replied with a big "Yes".

Friday morning came by, and I was hoping to compose a meditation with my sister's help. However Thursday evening got busy, and I needed to write and practice it before I taught it. It was time to make it my own. So late Thursday night I wrote down 4 to 5 pages of notes, and practiced it. It felt good to me, and seeing it was Friday after a week of work, most people would look forward to relaxing. So the theme would be relaxation.

The goal was to get to the studio early, to meditate, ground myself, and set up for the class. It was my time to calm my energies down, focus them to calm others and radiate a feeling of love, safety, and calm. I was able to do so, for I found a change in my voice, however a slight bubble of excitement/ adrenalin remained. However when we sat down for class I think something else took over, perhaps the calmness I had planted during my own meditation.

I realized if I was stressed out, or made it so formal, people would not be able to relax, and meditate. I think closing the eyes and clearing the mind, needs trust to be able to relax. One needs to be very practiced to be able to focus, meditate in a stressful situation. So I began with introductions, and everyone telling a funny story, because laughter IS the best medicine to melt the worries away. Smiles are also this amazing way of reaching out to people and releasing those endorphins. Then I began the meditation part.

The meditation was composed of 4 parts: 1 Relaxing through intentional deep breathing; 2 Relaxing through letting go; 3 Relaxing and deepening through visualization; 4 Deepening the meditation by letting go, focusing on natural breathing and observing the mind. I will explain these different meditation techniques in blogs to come!

The class went well and people were indeed relaxed, and one student actually described that they had relaxed so deep, that their mind went blank. Another student described that the meditation really helped refresh them after the week, and they felt glowing and radiant after. This made me happy, however I did notice it was tough to practice being a facilitator/ leading the meditation. Especially keeping time, was tough due to having to look at my phone.

I look forward to leading more meditations in the future!


Breathe!

Picture Courtesy Conscious Culture

Birthday Meditation

On my birthday in March, my friend hosted a huge 30th birthday party for me. Like 50+ people showed up, and it was combined with St. Patty's day celebrations! However I wished to hold a meditation session before the festivities.

A few of us showed up early, and after helping decorate the place, we went up to the attic, where it was quite, and there was a little corner perfect for meditation. Cushions, a little chair, and a little window with a green view. If this spot was made for meditation or just a hang out, I'm not sure, but it was perfect. I sat in the corner and asked my 5 friends to close their eyes, find a comfortable position and to observe their breathe. Some of them were beginners and others had meditated before, but I set an intention of peace, and calmness, joy and love for the rest of the night. This is what I wanted to carry with me for the rest of the year.

We only meditated for about 10 minutes, give or take a few, but it was special for me, and I really felt the love, and appreciated them being there for me. We all hugged after I awkwardly ended it. I did not want to do too much talking as it takes away from the focus of observing the breathe. My sister did help me prepare a meditation for the birthday, but it was too distracting reading off my phone, especially for others.

I want to get better at setting a timer on my phone, and then using my "singing bowl" (Tibetan Singing Bowl) to gently bring people back to now. I want to try to help people go further with their meditation practice than just observing breathing, eventually.

I'm excited that this Tuesday, weather permitting, I teach my first Sunrise Meditation and Yoga class in a park! Nervous, but excited, and I will try my best. I will hopefully remember to take my singing bowl!


Namaste!

Picture Courtesy Conscious Culture

Stressful day? ... Meditate!

I was having a super stressful week, forget the day... and today was the epitome of it all. I wanted to scream, cry, or punch someone (sometimes this is when those video games come in handy). I have been reading the Mahabharata (Devdutt Patniak's version, if you are curious), and I remembered Krishna's words "anger multiplies, but calmness divides.

Instead of feeding my rage, letting it all get the better of me, I took a few minutes and closed my eyes and breathed. I meditated focusing on positivity which people were sending me. That's what friends are for. I then had the strength to focus and feel the positivity within me; even in the darkest times it is there, only you can let it diminish, or shine. I let the positivity fill me up like a glowing light from within, and showering on me from without.

I focused on breathing, and light, and suddenly I felt lighter. I decided to avoid the negativity at work, and focus on myself, and goodness. I can deal with the negative once I have recharged over the weekend, however this positivity would tide me over IF I were to have a confrontation. I know the evening held treasures of relaxation, rest, rejuvenation  and rejoicing, so I was ready to take on the rest of the day.


Namaste!

Meditation: Be present and Climb On!

Yesterday I climbed after a year. I do have a fear of heights, also I "self doubt" a lot regards to what I am capable of, I am also anxious about falling, although there is a trusty belayer ready to catch me; these afflictions in my mind, affect my body, and my climbing.

My first wall, I panicked the whole way up, forgetting to breathe, scared of falling. On my second climb, I heard my climbing teachers voice yell in my mind "breathe! breathe like you're having a baby." My breathing brought me to an utter awareness, and it was easier to climb.

My next climb, I almost gave up, but I took a few minutes to breathe, focus, meditating while hanging on a harness, 20 feet off the ground. Just collecting myself to here, now, me and my body. I let everyone else fade away, I let the world drop away, my breathing, my muscles, my heart all united in completing this small task of climbing to another 10 or 15 feet. It was a simple climb, but it seemed a gargantuan task, for a non-beginner, beginning to climb again. Those few minutes helped me gather some phenomenal energy to calm down and climb on. My focus was solely on me, and it was easier.

Why do I fret? Because I forget to be. I let fear take over, when all I need is me.

Meditation can help us immensely even though it maybe short... Maybe that's why they say when stressed, breathe and count to 10 when angry or flustered! So if you think about it there's been different types of meditation, through out the ages, cultures, places, and religions! The effects are always the same.

Breathe!

Om.

Meditation and Filling the Cup

Every now and then I feel drained: work, friends, family, commuting, altruistic work, hobbies, and sometimes we forget to take time out for ourselves. I felt that recently, I let myself get stressed, I noticed the lack of quality time with me, and I crashed. A mini breakdown. I as afraid I wouldn't be able to live up to my busy schedule and I would let people down.

What I really needed to do, was focus on being present, and let things fall into place. Let go of control, and just focus on my breathing. That simple act for 5 minutes even can help so much. My mind wanders, but I bring it back, to the breathing. So I finally had time to do that on Friday during my yoga class (I hadn't been able to do Yoga during the week, or meditation), except it was longer than just 5 minutes. So it really helped me align my mind, body and soul. Suddenly ten minutes was not enough! I needed more time to enjoy this feeling of calming down. This meditation, basic as it is, was filling up the shell of my body with positivity, nurturing my soul,  calming my body, and taking pressures off my mind.

The exhaustion, and emptiness I was feeling, was gone! I introspected, and then gently looked at the world around me, and suddenly it dawned on me, that I had missed connecting with me. The thing is things will never be less crazy, or slow down to resume whatever schedule I would like, so I have to make time, and fit my meditation in, I do this for me. Same with the Yoga, I have to just make minimum 10 minutes for it. Sometimes taking out time for yourself may seem selfish, but we need it, and more often than not.

OM

Meditation for wellness

 

ॐ Yoga and Meditation 1 ॐ

I've been meditating a lot recently, thanks to yoga class, at least 2- 3 times a week. Meditation and Yoga go hand in hand. One must do yoga to quiet the body, and then meditation calms the mind and the body! Also 3 ॐ s at the end of practice can help seal the deal, in helps the vibrations from the practice be vocalized. I used to be embarrassed of the ॐ we said as a greeting and farewell, at the Sivananda Yoga center, when growing up in India. now I find beauty, mysticism, wholeness, and energy in them. Perhaps chanting, meditation and yoga all go hand in hand. It makes sense why all the Sanyasis do all three and more. So it should feel right. There is a beauty in silence and fasting too!

Last night at yoga, we meditated after the 45 minutes of vinyasa. The yogi guided us through a very interesting technique where we focused on breathing. The difference was we focused on inhale right nostril, exhale left nostril, then inhale left nostril, exhale right nostril. When focusing on this, just through your mind, I believe the nose muscles, and nostrils start actually doing it! So it is like doing Anuloma Viloma, with no hand! It was a very amazing, although I felt my breathing was loud, deep an obnoxious, so I tried to quieten it a little. We closed with a chant, and three ॐ.

At the beginning of the practice and the end, we always set our intentions for our practice, individually, for ourselves. It's internal, a quiet whisper to ourselves. We close with remembering those intentions. At the end of the meditation, we repeated our intentions to ourselves and the yogi also asked us to remember sradha the word for faith, belief and trust, and focus that onto ourselves: Internally and externally. To have sradha in ourselves, the world, the practice, to listen and then have faith. An example was when we were in headstand, we should listen to our bodies to see how far we can go, and not to push it, but trust it. It's an amazing thing to meditate on, and be aware of. Also remembering to let go of the things we can not control, those that add to our worries. These external problems/unchangeable do not help us in our sradha, but we should let it go and accept it the way it is. I am so glad the yogi is mindful to always go back to that - the philosophy, the spirituality, the connectedness and energy behind meditation and meditation.

ॐ

 

 

Notes:

Practice = the practice of living something, in this case it is yoga and meditation. Although I won't perform it, I practice it daily. :-P I guess I picked this up from my yoga teacher training class.

Sradha - Faith or see the hindu or collective definition or Buddhist definition... I hope to post more on this subject!

Finding the True Self

As the meditations have progressed, I grow. it has been 2 months since I started this. I have experimented, developed and nurtured, healed, searched, found, met with peace, met with aggression, felt such deep passion...
I haven't blogged here in a while, but it doesn't mean this project failed. For my part I carried on. I didn't ever stop meditating, in fact I actually have been able to focus on things I really want, and achieve them, by letting go.Meditation is just not a thing we do. It is a discipline, an exercise, a pathway to deeper spirituality, a medication, a journey and experience that never ends.

There are so many different kinds of meditation, and I am still exploring it all. I have meditated with prayers, and visualizations. It takes practice to achieve and feel the full affects. One does not merely sit and hope for the magic to happen, it takes effort. Recently a friend sent me a meditation for healing, where I had to imagine my Chakras cleanse. This was true visualization of nature and it was very difficult, but soothing. I tried, but it was difficult, so I let go so that I could try another time.

I also started meditation in different yoga poses (savasana, sirshasana, padmasana) and this has proven beneficial for my body as well as mind. For I focus, hold the pose, feel my body, and I am so in touch with the energy flow in my body. The result being I feel refreshed and have way too much energy for the day.

All the different types of meditation set aside, I feel like in the exploration of my mind, soul, and body, I have slowly come to find and love my true self. Slowly. It is a work in progress, and the maintenance of it will be as tough as any other work. In doing so I have found a peace, and have been able to let go and love more openly. It's like a sigh of relief.


Namaste.

Spinning Meditation

Meditating still, but i switched it up.
Sometimes I sit still, sometimes I use music, sometimes I walk, sometimes I stand in a corner and breathe.
A few weeks ago my sister taught me how to spin Poi. The Mexican art of dancing with fire. I found it strangely meditative, yet requiring fitness, and relaxing. So now I spin while meditating and it helps me focus my energies, perhaps a lot like Tai Chi, which I did practice for a while as well (2 years of tai chi in the zoo, I kid you not. best experience ever).
Along with spinning playing music, (practicing guitar, or a different instrument is highly meditative too. This practice helps clear the mind while you focus on a task for a longer time.
So this has helped me focus. Which in turn has helped me regulate my emotional reactions. Which is strange, for I am usually very emotionally reactive.

Pick up your guitar, flute, or make some sock poi and meditate!

Life - Ebb and Flow

Even meditation can't fix some days. Maybe its Murphy's law, maybe its the secret, I don't know.
I meditated on positive things, even the little things from my gratitude list, but things didn't let up until I got some relaxing time with sympathizers :-P sometimes we just need support, and a full night's rest. However It may not fix, but it can make it a wee bit easier.

So  from Monday work has been busy, and hectic. Taking on responsibilities, and making big decisions is overrated. I would love to tell kids, stay young as long as possible, you aren't missing too much fun stuff. When I was young I always wanted to be a college student, grown up person. Then when I was in college I wanted to be a professor, then I realized that was a bunch of silly drama by a bunch of "intellectuals". Really.
I decided to go get a job, and then I wanted more and more responsibility - this is the catch: this R word makes us feel important and worthwhile in life. It can also lead to our failures, weaknesses. Be careful what you wish for, or you're going to have to eat more than your bite? Whatever the saying is. This week I did meditate, and was ABLE to actually live upto my responsibilities but it was not easy, (however no one ever said life was easy). Meditation helped cause I focused on positive, and me being able to carry out, and not being as stressed as I would have otherwise been.

However never underestimate other people's responsibilities/problems (other than Mitt's cause he has it easy ;-))

Breathe.

Meditation and Cooking for the non-chef

Friday June 15th 2012 - I'm going to cook for my boyfriend. Menu - Steak and veggies
I'm still at work at 5:30pm, and freaking out! I've never cooked steak, there's so much to do still, and all the cleaning up afterwards. Ugh! Why shouldn't we just go out to dinner?

I converse with some of my colleagues regarding this dinner, and they say it's easy and I shouldn't sweat it, plus I'm probably an awesome girlfriend for doing this for my man! As I walk to my car, just calming myself down, telling myself I CAN do this!

I sit in my car, and take 5 minutes.

I focus on how the process: The meat has thawed, I need to just marinate it with garlic powder, pepper, chili powder, thyme, chia seeds. Leave it. We will only put it in the broiler when Ryan get's here (8 minutes both sides). However it will be hot and fresh. The potatoes - wash and clean, take out the eyes, set to boil with a little bit of salt for 20 minutes. Then fry lightly in olive oil till crunchy, add rosemary seasoning, and towards the end squeeze fresh lemon onto it. Boil the corn and salt to taste.
Wash the dishes or load them in the washer as I go to make clean up easy. I am going to love cooking this meal. It is going to be a delicious and perfect meal. He will love it, and it will nourish our bodies.

I got home, put on some Beatles, and did exactly the above!

Meditation can work miracles when preparing a meal, and you are not so fond of cooking, or the processes involved.

I am so glad for meditation, good food, and appreciation!

This was a different meal I made - mashed potatoes, veggies, and pork chops. For some reason  its easier cooking at his place, because I have company, and help. When at my place I begin cooking before he gets here. So it's a solo kitchen adventure!

Music and Patience

I just started learning  how to play the Bass. This has me totally amped. Its like I have a bad case of the Music Bug. So it's been hard to sleep at night, like I keep thinking about practicing, and music, and how do i play it better, muscle memory. In itself, playing music has been so meditative in itself. I focus, get int he zone and I feel it deep down in my soul. However when I am not playing I enjoy the silence but it makes me antsy. I feel the need to be a part of the vibration the guitars emit. Feel it in my body, soul and mind. Maybe playing guitar is even spiritual to me, although it might just be some Weezer song!
I wonder if my middle name "Shruti" has anything to do with this craving for the constant need for music, the ebb and flow of music and silence alike. Hmm.

Perhaps we are supposed to feel like this about meditation and silence. Since I have been listening to a lot of Rock music, I have been craving silence, and acoustic guitar music. I think distortion may make a difference? Thoughts on this?

The difference between meditation and guitar playing is, one creative ripples and the other is about being still. However , Buddhists do use gongs, and chanting for meditation too! So I might be in a more modern track to meditation and music, harmony. Music (whatever genre) is such a huge part of my life, but so are my moments of silence. I think integrating both into the most unusual aspect of our lives is something, hmm... creative (?). In example using music for meditation, and silence in music. I was just at a concert and in the middle of the song they sounded like it ended, but came back for another round of chorus. It was amazing. I know its incomparable, but being at a concert is like being at a mass meditation where everyone is chanting OM. At least, to me the energy was comparable. Just food for thought, maybe next time you are at a concert you can change point of view and make it meditative.

I love silence and I love music!

Rock on and Breathe!

 In other news: I am 70+ days sober!

Meditate to Live, Don't Live to Meditate.

Normally when I meditate I look at the clock and try to focus on the amount of time I want to meditate for. I usually go well over that but I am also usually fairly aware of how much time has passed.

Today, however, was a busy day and I only had time to meditate just before heading off to work. Naturally, I didn't want to "over-meditate" and be late for work. So I set a timer on my computer to beep when 10 minutes had gone by. The phone, which I thought was turned off, rang at precisely 5 minutes into my meditation. The timer on the computer was not running for some reason.

It was a good meditation and I would have liked it to go longer. But considering my timer wasn't set like I thought it was, and how close it was to the start of work it was fortunate that something snapped me out of it. And it made me remember that the whole point of meditation isn't to "get away" from it all. It's not a weekend retreat with healthy delicious food, chirping birds, and saunas. Meditation is more like combat training for life. If meditation can't help us when we are away from that little 5 minute bubble then it's really no better than any other form of escapism. Meditation is a discipline. It is a way to tame the monkey mind and be a stronger, smoother running form of ourself.

The next time I meditate I will try not to go into it with the mindset of shutting out the rest of my life. Instead, I will try looking at it as a deeper way to approach my life.

5 to 10 in 4 days!

Today is day four, I did ten minutes. It still wasn't easy but I did it.

Day one was Thursday (31st May). I started with 5 minutes; sitting upright to the best of my spinal cord's ability, breathing deeply (yoga breathing - aka abdominal breathing, inhale belly out, exhale contract the belly. Using the stomach/ab muscles we breathe). I focused on breathing, my thoughts wandered a bit and I brought them back to deep breathing. It was my lunch break, but I wasn't that hungry yet so I was able to focus. In the past I've had trouble focusing on an empty stomach. My watch was timing the meditation, and went off at 5 minutes, which seemed way too short, but felt great! However I had to stick to my tight work schedule.

Day two, Friday 1st June - I set my meditation time for 8 minutes, because I thought 5 was too short but wonderful. I started out with focusing on my breathing, and then I watched as my thoughts began to flow away from the breathing, then I would steer it back to the breathing. After a while of doing this, i thought it would be good to set an intention for the rest of the day, and what I wanted to send out to the universe, and what I would like to receive back. A lovely energy exchange essentially. 8 minutes was great, and refreshing, once again on my lunch break.

Day three, Saturday 2nd June - I set my clock to 10 minutes. It went serenely as I first focused on breathing and then listened, let thoughts flow, and memories of many childhood meditations fill me. Being a Saturday I added another 8 minutes after the 10. How is that meditation that I thought so difficult in the past was so easy now? The second 8 minutes was difficult cause although I was focusing on my breathing I was also distracted, and annoyed by my own tummy. I kept wanting to suck it in. My self image issues began emerging. I don't like my tummy. So I am meditating and the whole time grumbling in my mind via thoughts about how my tummy should not move with the breathing, this hindered my breathing, and thus my focus on breathing, and thought flow. I however decided to "let it go", and did. I began thinking about how I needed to pay rent and became anxious, then again I "let it go". Also these past three days, I would be meditating and feel an itch and be compelled to itch it, instead of using my head - "there's an itchy feeling. hmm. let it go." A thought does not always need to be followed by an action. Does it?

Day four, Sunday 3rd June - I paid my rent! Now I could meditate in peace. I just went running, did some yoga, and let my body reach homeostasis before sitting down to meditate. I sat outside on the balcony, and began meditating, always cross-legged (Indian style), back upright and my arms loosely stretched out over my legs and fingers in "chinmaya mudra". Today I was more annoyed with my tummy than ever, and my back was much fatigued (probably from running, situps and cobra pose). I toughed out ten minutes and ended the meditation with a startling sneeze from someone. Today it was hard to focus, but I made it a point to remind myself to get annoyed, watch the thought and let it go in the end. Resulting in me feeling over all calmer and patient.

Let's see what tomorrow holds!


OM!

Image taken from Gurumaa website, I believe that's the Chinmaya mudra.