The Fountain Pen: Art of Writing

My friend Tanjot asked about fountain pens the other day. I hadn't written with mine in a long time. I remember doing a lot of research before buying mine. I missed the fancy Pelikan (German) pen my father had gotten me when i was in 5th grade, and had just begun cursive or as we called it "joint-handwriting". The letters were all joined, thus the name, we never knew of cursive until moving here.

Tanjot posted a picture of his handwriting with his new-old pen. It was old because it was his grandfathers, how romantic is that! Most people use micro-tip, or ball point pens, so it was awesome to see another fountain pen fanatic, of course the story behind his pen is amazing.

My current fountain pen has no amazing story. The amazing pens I did have are all long gone, ie. the Parker pen which my dad let me have, after he had it since he was at Case, the Pelikan pen, and many others. By 12th grade I had over 10 amazing fountain pens. Anyway, enough mourning  over the loss of my material obsession, now I have one Sheaffer fountain pen. It writes smooth. Anyway I had filled it up a few days ago for no apparent reason, and today I began to write with it, so I could post it on Facebook, like Tanjot had, and realized it was tough. 

It had been a year since I had last written with it. My handwriting was all over the place. I really had to focus. I was having a hard time flowing with the ink, I was hesitating before my 'L's. I wanted to get this post done, so I focused and ended up writing three pages of  a quote from Buddha. That's when it struck me.

This is art. This is meditation. Why was writing so tough? Why was I hesitating on certain words? It was amazing to introspect, and such a similar process to meditation. I found out things about myself, and worked through it until my 'L's were smoother. I learned to "let go" in a way, and go with the flow.

There is a value in arts and culture. It is what we fight for. Art and culture is what we cultivate within when we have peace, freedom and time. Which is all the time, and a state of mind. I know there's a push to get cursive writing out of school, but it's such a skill, a learning in patience, introspection, control, and going with the flow (being present). Why would we take away this amazing experience from our children, just because lost our sight of creativity, art, and began valuing/ focusing on other things?

As much as we like the big hullabaloo of a big success, wealth and riches, we always realize that the joys are in family, friends and the little things in life. We get sucked in, and sometimes we're sucked into a tornado of life, that we forget the things that matter. Stop and smell the roses, write with a fountain pen, take some time to meditate, go for a walk in the park, life's too short to miss these things.


Breathe 

The Animal Instinct

It's been one of those days... no, it's been one of those weeks... wait, it's been one of those months!
Stressed beyond most limits of stress, due to work, change, finances, weather, family, future, career, what everyone will think of me...

It's been one of those months.

I was on my way to teach meditation, cranky due to being dehydrated the day before due to subtle food poisoning, not to mention a tough day at work, when I realized do I really want to teach meditation being cranky deep down inside? I realized the yoga class before that might settle my mood. I needed it. Then again driving home in the snow storm which was supposed to hit around 8 pm, (when I would leave meditation class), came into mind and annoyed me further. As I was driving, ignoring the traffic, going with the flow, singing the songs, a song's lyrics specifically caught my attention.

It was The Animal Instinct"  by The Cranberries.

The lyrics went something like this: Suddenly something has happened to me, as I was having my cup of tea.
Suddenly i was feeling depressed, I was utterly and totally stressed.
Do you know you make me cry?
Do you know you make me die?
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.
It is a lovely thing that we have, it is a lovely thing that we,
It is a lovely thing, the animal, the animal instinct.

So take my hands and come to me, we will change reality.
So take my hands and we will pray, they won't take you away.
They will never make me cry, no,
They will never make me die.
And the thing that gets to me, is you'll never really see,
And the thing that freaks me out, is I'll always be in doubt.

The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me,
It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me...

This song woke me up from this frustrated anger, annoyance and crankiness I was holding onto.
This is why we meditate, to rid ourselves of these basal instincts, our primordial instincts... that of an animal. So although this animal instinct in me, is a survival instinct, does it serve me now?
Our fright, flight and fight responses are useful, but did I need to be stressed and let it out right now?

I thought about it all, how I let myself get stressed by not being present. How I let myself be irritable and angry because of lack of sleep... I let it all get to me. I can manage this, but I wasn't being present, I was irate due to lack of sleep, but I missing my energy now, because I was upset about the night before.
The song helped me let out some steam, and get into a meditative state. It was great to enter yoga more positive. I was going to narrate this during meditation class, but sadly students got scared of the snow storm.

OM

Breathe

Meditation Classes

I've been teaching a meditation class now for about four or five months. It's been interesting; sometimes I like it, sometimes it's challenging, sometimes it's very emotional, and sometimes no one shows up and I feel hurt. I need to meditate on not taking things so personally. I usually meditate alone on the days when no one shows up, and it's an epiphany.

I've experiments these few months with different meditation techniques, because, honestly there is no perfect way to meditate. I've been meditating sine i was young, and my meditation abilities have evolved to say the least. It's funny how people think meditation is only about emptying the mind. In someways that's ridiculous cause it's impossible. The reason a lot of practices such as Buddhist and Hindu meditation do say "empty" the mind at all, is because the goal is to eventually reach Samadhi. Samadhi is a mental state which very few people have experienced. I'm glad my Yoga Teacher Training, here in the Midwest, has helped me understand these concepts in depth. Although I know I must delve deeper into Pratyahara, Dharana and Dhyana... too ultimately aim for Samadhi.

Even after having studied yoga, meditation and mindfulness for so many years (almost 24 years), I'd say I still have so much learning to do. I find it funny when people tell me, "Oh I know how to meditate, I meditate on my own", implying they do not need to attend a meditation class. However they know yoga, but deem it necessary to go to a yoga class? I do understand why this happens though, and people just need to be honest with themselves. There's nothing more liberating than the power of Satya.

So you rather pay for a yoga class, where you feel you are getting more out of it than pay for sitting quietly because it's something you can do on your own?

So you have time for yoga, but sitting quietly for one hour is too much?

So you think you've achieved Samadhi? Think again, or maybe come share your methods with us, no?

So meditation might infringe on your religious beliefs? Well, you might have a very misconstrued understanding of yoga and meditation then.

So you think because your life is in order, you do not need to meditate? There is always higher work to do mentally, although everything may be happy and perfect in life. Do that true work, of meditating.

I can't force anyone to meditate, I can't make them come to my class, but I can help guide those who show up. I can share prana with those who show up. There is something to be said about meditating in a sangha/ community/ together. Also we learn so much from each other's practices, insights, why not expand your practice than keep it to yourself, although a solo practice is great too.

Either way, keep meditating, keep showing up, and keep sending out the positive vibes.

Breathe!

Meditation and Change

Most people are so amped-up about the world's goings on, and are full of opinions, arguments or debates as they like to call it, and so on. We are struggling with the changing world around us... although nothing has truly changed. Material aspects, lifestyles, food, and the "culture" which is a mummer's farce is what has changed, and a lot of us don't like that. We are resistant to change!

This affects our health. So I learned how to breathe through it, the things I don't like, the changes I can not control, meditate upon it, let it go, and I am able to deal with it.

Next time you are faced with a "who moved my cheese" scenario, and are unable to deal with it; you feel stuck; you are upset... Think about what in this "change", this situation you have no control over, upsets you, angers you, excites you. Meditate on the query, till you find the answer, and let it go. Find the peace in this process. Understanding yourself better in the process, and helping you with future "changes". Move on to the NEW cheese. I dare you to read the book ;-)  (it's a good book). However DO meditate upon it, let it go, and breathe freely and deeply.

Love
Pree

5 Finger Meditation Technique

Just as I promised to share my various meditation methods, here it is! One of them which i always like to start with is the 5 finger meditation method. Which has a very dear story to it.

I was going through a really painful break up, and I needed to get away. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't function... so I hopped on a bus to Chicago to see my bestie, who I hadn't seen in a while. I kept myself occupied by watching a movie on the bus, and eventually dozed-off in an awkward position. I got there and it was friday night. We washed up, and went to bed. The next day was full of activities and occasionally I would have a break down. That night we visited her pool, which also had a sauna, and I had a major break down, weeping so much that I couldn't breathe or talk. So she held my hands and told me to close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sauna, and breathe with her.

She held out her hand and used her fingers to count to three. That was the deep inhale. The exhale was longer, and she used five fingers to count the exhale. We did this for 5- 6 minutes and it really helped me calm down.

She later told me this was a method she would use to calm down/ and relax her patients! It works wonders, and I use it to calm myself down, and also help me focus on my breathing. After which meditation comes in easily.

I am so grateful for having her as my friend, and am so glad and impressed she uses meditation and other breathing techniques to calm her patients down. Which goes to prove that yoga, pranayama and meditation are practices that heal! I hope you find this technique as helpful and soothing as I have found it to be.


OM!

Picture from The Legend of Korra (A "Avatar: The Last Airbender" adventure). Korra has to learn to meditate to tap into her Avatar energies!

My First Official Meditation Class!

Yoga Guru: Are you free to teach the Mindfulness Meditation class tomorrow evening at 7:15pm at the studio?

I needed to pause and think about this for a bit.

A few years ago I had attended a speech/ lecture by Sri Sri Ravishankar, where he led us in a 20-30 minute meditation. I achieved a very deep level of meditation, and in someways lost touch with my body. In example my mind couldn't move my finger when I tried to will it, but let the will go as well. It was pretty amazing, and my first time going that deep. My point for this story was I felt the pressure to incite this deep of a meditation onto my new students. How would I do that?

There have been times when I have lead meditations before, but they were usually small groups, my friends, or one on one. I was nervous leading the meditation on my birthday, but I did not have too many huge expectations for it, since I had meditated with my friends on different occasions. This just seemed more formal, and official in someways.

After talking to myself a bit, and sharing my dilemma with a few close friends/ my sister, I was encouraged to 1- believe in my self  2- realize that I am not expected to lead them into that deep a meditation 3- make it my own. So I replied with a big "Yes".

Friday morning came by, and I was hoping to compose a meditation with my sister's help. However Thursday evening got busy, and I needed to write and practice it before I taught it. It was time to make it my own. So late Thursday night I wrote down 4 to 5 pages of notes, and practiced it. It felt good to me, and seeing it was Friday after a week of work, most people would look forward to relaxing. So the theme would be relaxation.

The goal was to get to the studio early, to meditate, ground myself, and set up for the class. It was my time to calm my energies down, focus them to calm others and radiate a feeling of love, safety, and calm. I was able to do so, for I found a change in my voice, however a slight bubble of excitement/ adrenalin remained. However when we sat down for class I think something else took over, perhaps the calmness I had planted during my own meditation.

I realized if I was stressed out, or made it so formal, people would not be able to relax, and meditate. I think closing the eyes and clearing the mind, needs trust to be able to relax. One needs to be very practiced to be able to focus, meditate in a stressful situation. So I began with introductions, and everyone telling a funny story, because laughter IS the best medicine to melt the worries away. Smiles are also this amazing way of reaching out to people and releasing those endorphins. Then I began the meditation part.

The meditation was composed of 4 parts: 1 Relaxing through intentional deep breathing; 2 Relaxing through letting go; 3 Relaxing and deepening through visualization; 4 Deepening the meditation by letting go, focusing on natural breathing and observing the mind. I will explain these different meditation techniques in blogs to come!

The class went well and people were indeed relaxed, and one student actually described that they had relaxed so deep, that their mind went blank. Another student described that the meditation really helped refresh them after the week, and they felt glowing and radiant after. This made me happy, however I did notice it was tough to practice being a facilitator/ leading the meditation. Especially keeping time, was tough due to having to look at my phone.

I look forward to leading more meditations in the future!


Breathe!

Picture Courtesy Conscious Culture

Meditation: Be present and Climb On!

Yesterday I climbed after a year. I do have a fear of heights, also I "self doubt" a lot regards to what I am capable of, I am also anxious about falling, although there is a trusty belayer ready to catch me; these afflictions in my mind, affect my body, and my climbing.

My first wall, I panicked the whole way up, forgetting to breathe, scared of falling. On my second climb, I heard my climbing teachers voice yell in my mind "breathe! breathe like you're having a baby." My breathing brought me to an utter awareness, and it was easier to climb.

My next climb, I almost gave up, but I took a few minutes to breathe, focus, meditating while hanging on a harness, 20 feet off the ground. Just collecting myself to here, now, me and my body. I let everyone else fade away, I let the world drop away, my breathing, my muscles, my heart all united in completing this small task of climbing to another 10 or 15 feet. It was a simple climb, but it seemed a gargantuan task, for a non-beginner, beginning to climb again. Those few minutes helped me gather some phenomenal energy to calm down and climb on. My focus was solely on me, and it was easier.

Why do I fret? Because I forget to be. I let fear take over, when all I need is me.

Meditation can help us immensely even though it maybe short... Maybe that's why they say when stressed, breathe and count to 10 when angry or flustered! So if you think about it there's been different types of meditation, through out the ages, cultures, places, and religions! The effects are always the same.

Breathe!

Om.

Justin 101: An Introduction

Hello! My name is Justin. I am thrilled to be a part of this project. Meditation, while relatively new to my life, has changed me. Simply taking a moment to pay attention to my thoughts, feelings, and emotions has had a profound effect on how I live my life.

My story begins a long time ago in a faraway land. Ok, not really, but that sounds cool! My meditation journey actually begins not so long ago, and right here in Grand Rapids Michigan. I was raised by parents who loved me and provided a safe place for me to grow up. I had a normal childhood, went to great schools, and had great friends (still do!). By the time I got to high school, I was comfortable with who I was and I was loving life. In college I had the opportunity to travel, make new friends, and learn much more about the beautiful world we live in. Shortly after college I got married. I was living the West Michigan dream. Then things started to unravel.

In the span of a year, the following events took place: I had a heat-stroke and spent 3 hours in a coma after a triathlon, I broke my nose (you should see the pictures!), my grandfather died (I'm named after him), my marriage of four and a half years ended in divorce (I could write a novel about this, but I won't... yet ;D), and my parents moved from Grand Rapids to Salt Lake City. Nothing was going my way. I had spent all of my energy for two years trying to save my marriage and I was drained. I struggled constantly with depression, and I was consumed by anxiety. It was not until I sought help from a therapist that things started to turn around.

In counseling I started to figure out why certain things were the way they were. I learned about co-dependency and the effect that it had on my failed marriage. I learned about the voids in my life and the vices that I used to fill them. I came to the realization that for months on end, I was living ten feet above my body. In other words, I was constantly in automatic pilot mode. Then, my therapist introduced me to a practice that would end up changing my life: Mindfulness Meditation.

During a particularly difficult session, I felt completely drained. My tank was empty. Tears were flowing. I had no words. My therapist instructed me to close my eyes and allow the tears to flow. He instructed me to allow the sadness, loneliness, and whatever other thought or emotion that was happening in that moment to be there. He explained it like this: If you are in a cabin in the woods far from any trace of civilization and an old man knocks on your door, you are not going to turn him away. You are going to invite him in and get to know him. The old man of sorrows had come knocking, and for the first time in years, I spent time with him in curious awareness.

That is what Mindfulness Meditation is all about; simply being aware of your present experience right here, right now, in this moment. It felt amazing to allow myself to be lonely and to grieve. It seemed like every time I met with my therapist, we got real work done. One day I decided to go camping by myself. When I got to the lakeshore (Lake Michigan) I scurried down the beach to set up camp. Once I got settled, I took a seat where the land meets the water and closed my eyes. I noticed thoughts racing through my head, and instead of letting them get the best of me I simply allowed them to be. As thought after thought passed through my head like clouds in the sky, my mind grew quiet. When I finally opened my eyes, the whole world seemed new! It felt good to be me. For the first time in years I felt good in my own skin. Most importantly, I was IN my own skin!

Since my "re-awakening" on the beach, I have had the privilege of taking an eight week course called "Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction" through the Grand Rapids Center for Mindfulness (seriously, check them out). Throughout the eight week course I learned the benefits of regular meditation as well as many practices that have become a part of my daily life. After eight weeks I am feeling more connected to myself, to others, and to the world around me. I feel good! (da da da da da da da!!)

While this post is meant to be an introduction, it is also an invitation. It is an invitation to join me in my journey of healing and self-awareness. Some posts will be "big idea" stuff; other posts will be very practical. I hope that you will learn something from them and be able to apply some of the lessons to your life. Every step towards mindfulness is a worthy step in the right direction. Now join with me in the most basic form of mindfulness. Ready?

Breathe.

ॐ Yoga and Meditation 1 ॐ

I've been meditating a lot recently, thanks to yoga class, at least 2- 3 times a week. Meditation and Yoga go hand in hand. One must do yoga to quiet the body, and then meditation calms the mind and the body! Also 3 ॐ s at the end of practice can help seal the deal, in helps the vibrations from the practice be vocalized. I used to be embarrassed of the ॐ we said as a greeting and farewell, at the Sivananda Yoga center, when growing up in India. now I find beauty, mysticism, wholeness, and energy in them. Perhaps chanting, meditation and yoga all go hand in hand. It makes sense why all the Sanyasis do all three and more. So it should feel right. There is a beauty in silence and fasting too!

Last night at yoga, we meditated after the 45 minutes of vinyasa. The yogi guided us through a very interesting technique where we focused on breathing. The difference was we focused on inhale right nostril, exhale left nostril, then inhale left nostril, exhale right nostril. When focusing on this, just through your mind, I believe the nose muscles, and nostrils start actually doing it! So it is like doing Anuloma Viloma, with no hand! It was a very amazing, although I felt my breathing was loud, deep an obnoxious, so I tried to quieten it a little. We closed with a chant, and three ॐ.

At the beginning of the practice and the end, we always set our intentions for our practice, individually, for ourselves. It's internal, a quiet whisper to ourselves. We close with remembering those intentions. At the end of the meditation, we repeated our intentions to ourselves and the yogi also asked us to remember sradha the word for faith, belief and trust, and focus that onto ourselves: Internally and externally. To have sradha in ourselves, the world, the practice, to listen and then have faith. An example was when we were in headstand, we should listen to our bodies to see how far we can go, and not to push it, but trust it. It's an amazing thing to meditate on, and be aware of. Also remembering to let go of the things we can not control, those that add to our worries. These external problems/unchangeable do not help us in our sradha, but we should let it go and accept it the way it is. I am so glad the yogi is mindful to always go back to that - the philosophy, the spirituality, the connectedness and energy behind meditation and meditation.

ॐ

 

 

Notes:

Practice = the practice of living something, in this case it is yoga and meditation. Although I won't perform it, I practice it daily. :-P I guess I picked this up from my yoga teacher training class.

Sradha - Faith or see the hindu or collective definition or Buddhist definition... I hope to post more on this subject!